Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ladies don't puke and tell
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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