Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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