Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
