Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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