ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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