Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
