he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
wakey wakey hands off snakey
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
