I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
