im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
