we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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