Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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