found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
