K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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