Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
