What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I deserve this hangover.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
