I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
