dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
