this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
