so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
