i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
