Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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