whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
