Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize