Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
