just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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