I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
