She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
