why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
