You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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