I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
