I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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