remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
