how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
