Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
