I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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