Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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