that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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