3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
