I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
