I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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