When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
