Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
