After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
