you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
