There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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