So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
