Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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