what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Are my feet made of real feet?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
