If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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