his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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