Small penises have feelings too.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
