no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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