why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
